Friday, May 28, 2010

Can't stop talking about X-Men: First Class

James McAvoy is Charles Xavier.

*sigh*

I heard that they were going to do a young Xavier and Magneto, but this is ridiculous.

Why can't you just adapt the fucking comic book?!

Why can't Patrick Stewart just play a forty year old Xavier instead of a fifty year old Xavier? Is he an expensive actor? I haven't seen him in many films other than Star Trek and X-Men.

What, does he have to be sexy? Do you need the girls in the audience to want to fuck Xavier?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

Please, please, please tell me that this is just for a five minute flashback scene.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Top 10 Star Trek actors I would have liked to see in Boston Legal

Boston Legal is one of my top three favorite shows of all time. A small reason for this is the numerous Star Trek cameos. Of course, the star of the series is William Shatner (along with James Spader) who played Denny Crane, a man whose ego is bigger than most of us can even imagine. Another prominent Star Trek actor in this series is Rene Auberjonois who played Odo in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. In addition to these two, the show has featured cameo appearances by Jeri Ryan (Seven of Nine), Armin Shimerman (Quark), Scott Bakula (Captain Archer), and Ethan Phillips (Neelix).

I would like to think that this isn't an accident, but rather a conscious choice. This show might seem very different than Star Trek; it is set in the modern day, it is a dramatic comedy, it skews to an older demographic... but like Star Trek, David E. Kelley shows are morality plays. By centering the topic in a legal drama, it allows the lawyers to argue both sides of the issue thereby intellectually engaging the audience. The audience is placed in the figurative role of the juror. This can be very engaging, particularly when the advocate of one particular view is cast against type. Like a female lawyer defending a man accused of sexual harassment or a black lawyer opposing a black civil rights case. The fact that lawyers don't necessarily believe their arguments creates depth and subtext. This encourages the viewer to try to adopt beliefs that they would normally be strongly opposed to... even if it is just for the length of the episode.

Long story short, I'm watching the series for my fourth time or so and I can't help but think about other Star Trek actors I would have loved to see on this show. Of course, I won't mention any who were dead while this show was on like DeForest Kelly (although he would have made the list), so without further adieu...

10. Jolene Blalock (T'Pol)

This absolutely gorgeous woman played First Officer T'Pol in the most recent Star Trek series, Enterprise. Although the role was cast almost entirely based on her epic prow, she was actually a really good actress and I think she would be the perfect fit for any David E. Kelley show.

9. Nicole de Boer (Ezri Dax)

The cute, fast-talking replacement for Jadzia Dax in DS9 would be fantastic in Boston Legal. She is a very talented actress with a great sense of humor. If you go back and watch old episodes of Kids in the Hall, you will notice that she is a frequent actress. Her best roll was as Bruce McCulloch's girlfriend in his teenage "no one understands me" bit. Although she could definitely play a lawyer, I see her more as a legal secretary.

8. Avery Brooks (Captain Sisko)

Honestly, I'd just like to see Avery Brooks in more work. There is nothing that makes me think he would be particularly good for Boston Legal, but he is such a compelling actor. He would be great as a plaintive with a really heart-wrenching problem because he has such a powerful emotional range.

7. Jonathan Frakes (William Riker)

I didn't love Jonathan Frakes in TNG, but you have to admit that the guy has charisma and penetrating blue eyes. He is a perfect actor for a David E. Kelley script. He is good at being both confident and overtly sexual, which is exactly what Boston Legal is all about. He could have easily been a recurring character.

6. Dwight Schultz (Reginald Barclay)

Another element of Kelley's characters is that they tend to be... mentally unbalanced or otherwise odd. Dwight Schultz has shown a great ability to play odd characters, but keep it emotionally balanced. Really, his character of Barclay (although out of place on the Enterprise) would be a perfect fit on Boston Legal.

5. John de Lancie (Q)

De Lancie has appeared in guest roles in Kelley's other shows: Ally McBeal and The Practice. De Lancie can do intellectual, funny, and dickishness all in the same character. I'm not just referring to Q. All of his roles were like that. He'd make a great asshole boss or DA.

4. Jeffrey Combs (Shran/Weyoun/Brunt)

Character actor Jeffrey Combs got his start in Star Trek playing several bit parts, one of whom became a major character. His role was so compelling that the writers actually said they were from a race of clone just as an excuse to keep writing for him. He came back for a major role in Enterprise as Shran, but he was also the voice of The Question in Justice League Unlimited and starring as Herbert West in the cult classic, Re-Animator. His best talent is as a compelling villain, so like De Lancie, he would work best as opposing council or an overbearing authority figure... maybe even a judge.

3. Brent Spiner (Data)

Like Avery Brooks, I really just want Brent Spiner to do more work, but his sense of humor and timing would fit perfectly with Kelley's scripts. I could see him as a client with an odd sexual quirk, but I think I could imagine him as an eccentric lawyer as well.

2. Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard)

This one is fairly obvious. Not only is he an incredible actor, but he is hilarious. Literally, he could play any role. He could be a lawyer, boss, judge, client... Kelley's script could no doubt get the best performances from Stewart especially by playing him off of Shatner. We never really got to see these two icons play off of each other, except for Star Trek: Generations and that movie sucked. A Boston Legal crossover would have been the perfect place for that.

1. Leonard Nimoy (Spock)

This is the only one more obvious than Patrick Stewart. Reportedly, Shatner tried to get Nimoy on Boston Legal, but Nimoy insisted that he was retired. Didn't stop him from doing Fringe. Nimoy could have easily been a client of Denny's, but I also would have liked to see him as a rival... possibly Denny Crane's New York or Washington counterpart.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I think I would have done well in the eighties...

I have a great sense of irony and the eighties doesn't. All the better to make fun of people.


Fuck you very much, Marvel Comics

So a new X-Men comic is coming out and Marvel is declaring it "X-Men Day."

If you don't know I'm a huge X-Men fan, you haven't been reading my blog... but I am not happy about this new series being made and I will tell you why.

1) Multiple titles of the same subject (character or team) tend to detract from one another. They may fight over characters or events in one book will effect the other, but if you love one of the books and hate the other, there is nothing more frustrating than having to sit through some shitty crossover.

2) The name of this new comic is "X-Men." There already was a comic called simply "X-Men," but they changed it to "New X-Men" and then "X-Men: Legacy" (neither of which really made much difference). The problem is that it is hard to talk about this title. What titles are you reading? "Well, Uncanny X-Men, Astonishing X-Men, and X-Men X-Men." A lot of people actually called it the adjective-less X-Men. This is just poor branding. If you are going to have multiple titles of the same subject, they each need their own style and the best way to define that style is with the name.

3) This is a ridiculously gimmicky comic. It began with a series of "sly" teaser images saying that Spider-Man, Blade, Elektra, and some other ridiculous characters are X-Men. The whole thing turned me off even then and I didn't know what it was. When they finally revealed their plan, they announced that this was a story about vampire mutants and they would be teaming up with all sorts of Marvel characters to fight them.

I know comic readers are kind of immature, but this sounds like bad fan fic. Nevermind that the X-Men are currently based in San Francisco and all of these other characters are in New York.

4) This series is written by Victor Gischler. Who is he? I don't know. I've never heard of him. So why should I give a fuck? Art by Paco Medina. I've heard of him. His work is... okay. I think... if he is the guy I'm thinking of...

So you are making a big deal about a team I love with a horribly generic concept, a creative team that no one has heard of, to release another comic that will make your titles even more difficult to follow.

You've gone past greedy to retarded. Even your die hard fans are embarrassed by you.

Sad. Just fucking sad.

Marvel/DC Continuity Song

Monday, May 24, 2010

For Rogue fans

I'm not a Rogue fan, but I think my only two readers are, so when I saw a list of the greatest Rogue stories ever and actually agreed with it, I thought I'd repost it here. Check out these issues if you want to read the best of Rogue. Also recommended is the current X-Men: Legacy by Mike Carey starring Rogue.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Influences

I've been thinking about my influences lately. Not just "writing" influences (although most definitely that) but people or even characters who influence our behavior?

Who are YOUR influences? That's not a rhetorical question. Please, comment your influences at the bottom of this post.

My influences are pretty broad. I cast a wide net. My writing influences include (in no particular order) Rod Serling, David E. Kelly, Chris Claremont, Gene Roddenberry, Joss Whedon, Sam Keith, Grant Morrison, Peter David, Alan Moore, and Adam Warren. There are many other whose works I love, but these are the ones I want to be like. That's a big difference.

My comedic influences (still in no order) include Steve Martin, Charlie Chaplin, the Marx Brothers, the Smothers Brothers, Marc Maron, Joe Rogan, Mel Brooks, Animaniacs, Bugs Bunny, Eddie Izzard, Monty Python, Peter Sellers, The Tick, Scud, and my dad.

My fictional personality (I'm not doing an order, dammit) influences include Cyclops, Beast, Indiana Jones, Superman, Peter Pan, Sherlock Holmes, Jean-Luc Picard, Benjamin Sisko, Jadzia Dax, Longshot, the Tramp, Spider-Man, Storm, Alan Shore, Dr. Strange, and Sam Beckett.

Hmmm... philosophic influences? Aristotle, Lao Tzu, Descartes... I would have thought there would be more. I guess most of them were pretty full of themselves... or insane... or incredibly uptight. There's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and Promethea; spiritual influences like Buddhism or shamanism. Socio-political influences like Douglas Rushkoff, Jon Stewart, and Michael Moore. I guess I find philosophy through other things than philosophers. I'll need to give that more thought.

I was thinking about my moral influences and while there were certainly people like my mom and dad, I think my that all of these people, stories, or characters influenced my morality considerably.

Who are your influences? Give it some thought.