Marvel's marketing department has lost their minds

I'm currently suffering from marketing fatigue and no one is more guilty of it than Marvel Comics. One of their latest dumbass moves is to release a bunch of Iron Man variant covers as a movie tie-in. Now, this doesn't sound too dumb... except these covers are on non-Iron Man comics... featuring different variations on the concept of Iron Man like Iron Man in different time periods, genres, and/or dimensions... each cover is by a different artist... but not the artist of the book they are drawing the cover for.

So... you are releasing a bunch of comics with covers that do not even vaguely resemble the content inside. I am guessing that you want people to leave Iron Man 2 thinking "Wow! Iron Man was awesome! I should stop by that skeazy little comic store that looks like the bedroom of a 13 year old in 1992 and see if they have any cool Iron Man comics!" So he goes to the comic store and sees dozens of Iron Men... all of them are different and none of them look like the one in the movie... the one he liked. Maybe he buys the comic with the coolest looking Iron Man on it... then he goes home and he realizes he bought a copy of She-Hulk.

... You don't really want new fans, do you? Is this some sort of undercover, anti-capitalist, indie-snob guerrilla operation you have going there? Did I seriously misjudge you and you are just afraid that going mainstream will ruin your integrity?

Yeah. Right.

So the new X-Men event is on... and I almost wrote a few things about it, but event fatigue kicked in and I just thought, "Fuck it." But today this image greeted me and I felt compelled to respond. Supposedly "one of these X-Men will die!" Assuming it isn't the one under the sheet (which would make sense but be a total cheat), I thought I'd run the odds, the pros, and the cons of each.

Colossus

Pro: Um...

Con: He just came back from the dead by none other than Joss Whedon. Not only would it be redundant to kill him, it would sully one of their best recent books. Not that they haven't done it before. Also, Kitty Pryde is coming back and they work as a pair.

Odds: 1:96

Magik

Pro: Still drawing a blank...

Con: Also just came back from the dead, albeit in a much less popular series. She also has a history with Colossus and Kitty so expect her to be around for a bit.

Odds: 2:96

Emma Frost

Pro: Emma is still largely untrusted by the X-Men since she spent so much time as a merciless villain and still acts like one much of the time. Martyring herself would go a long way to changing the way people think about her. Plus, with Jean Grey coming back as Hope, Scott is going to be put in an awkward position between the two psychics that he deeply loves.

Con: Emma is the coolest X-Man since Wolverine and her potential has only started to be tapped. Plus, Jean Grey is coming back so why sidestep some conflict with obvious storytelling potential? As much as Jean might be Scott's true love, Emma makes him far more interesting. If Scott was like any red blooded heterosexual American male, he'd be trying to figure out how to have them both... at which point Scott would become cooler than Wolverine and women would start banning X-Men for being sexist.

Odds: 1:32

Nightcrawler

Pro: Although most X-Men have died at one point or another, Nightcrawler hasn't. It may just be his turn. Plus, it seems like writers haven't really known what to do with him. Nightcrawler hasn't had much good character development since the eighties. The afterlife might inspire Kurt to take a closer look at his beliefs.

Con: I don't see any real advantage in it. What kind of stories will it inspire? The X-Men miss their friend? Been there, done that. Nightcrawler in heaven? Nightcrawler in hell? Nightcrawler returns with magic powers? Bleh.

Odds: 1:16

Iceman

Pro: Like Nightcrawler, Bobby Drake has yet to die even once. He is also a character who really hasn't shined in years... if ever. So he could be the next to take the plunge.

Con: Again, I don't think this would add anything to the X-Men. Also, artists seem to enjoy Iceman because he builds ice slides and sculptures where ever he goes.

Odds: 1:8

Archangel

Pro: Warren has recently received some attention in X-Force as the "angel of death." He seems to be harboring a dark alternate persona with a new power set. He could very well go through a transformation involving martyrdom then re-emerge later with a new power set. The character's weakness has always been that flying with wings is not nearly as impressive as all of the other characters who can fly and do other shit.

Con: Warren already has a new power set as the aforementioned "angel of death."

Odds: 1:4

Cable

Pro: His death would help to wrap up dangling plot threads from over twenty years of X-Men history. Recently, Marvel seems to be trying to streamline Cyclops by removing elements that wouldn't translate well to film. For example, they recently killed his father who he thought was dead but really became an intergalactic pirate. If they killed his son from a clone of his previous wife from a possible future, it would help to streamline the character. Also, with the end of the recent Cable series, he raised Hope, the mutant messiah, thereby possibly (hopefully?) fulfilling his role of saving the future.

Con: Cable recently gained popularity from the Cable & Deadpool series and he is still popular amongst fans of hardcore, X-treme 90s shit. I don't see Marvel killing off anyone if they think they can still milk a few sheckles from someone by keeping them alive.

Odds: 1:2